Updated Club Stats

Final Winter 2010/11 Team Record
Win: 11---Loss: 9---Tie: 3---OT-Loss: 1---Points: 26
Goals For: 79 (avg. 3.29 /game)---Goals Against: 88 (avg. 3.67 /game)

Upcoming Game

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Hello out there... we're on the air....

7:00pm Pacific on CBC - Canucks vs Flames

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Coilers Triumph in 09/10 Season Opener

Coilers United takes game 1 by the score of 8-4 vs Los Borrachos. Scoring provided by Mike (3), Troy (2), Kirk (1), Shin (1) & Randy (1).

Friday, September 4, 2009

New Coils On The Block

Newest additions : #1 Colin Charron (G), #11 Yutaro Kawai, #10 Ichiro Honda, #55 Robbie Urquhart

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


For a great first season !

Monday, July 6, 2009

NOW, the real deal

Let's Go Coilers !

2009-2010 Coilers United Rosters List

Due to the successful regular season campaign on the first year of their franchise, 13 of their 16 full time rosters have agreed to join the blue & orange again as full time players for the upcoming winter (26 games) season. Coilers' defensive core will receive a immediate boost with the addition of free agent 6'3" 230 pounds defenseman Robbie Urquhart. The forwards will receive an upgrade also with the signing of 2 oversea players from Japan; Centre Ichiro Honda is one of the most well rounded player out there according to Coilers forward #18 Shin Watanabe: "He's good at everything ! He is super fast, has hard shot, great passer and awesome positioning". Rookie speedster Yutaro Kawai will also be joining the team on the wing. Unfortunately, in the goaltending department.... it is still very unfortunate. The mid season growth hormone experiment has failed miserably for their starter Nötle the goalie. Not only did he not grow any bigger, the growth hormone supplier refused to give him a refund.

Here are the breakdown of their latest signings.

17 - Troy Beaver - confirmed
2 - Calvin Chang - confirmed
3 - Geoffrey Gates - confirmed
13 - Kirk Pettipas - confirmed
19 - Mike Neudorf - confirmed
91 - Kevin Karan - confirmed
46 - Hung Le - confirmed
41 - Jason Manchester - confirmed
9 - Bryan Sonnenberg - confirmed
20 - Ray Yeung - confirmed
77 - Aaron Hui - confirmed
10 - Yutaro Kawai (R) - confirmed
16 - John "Cordell" Richard - confirmed
55 - Robbie Urquhart - confirmed
60 - Elton Kwan - confirmed
7 - Randy Morphy - confirmed
11 - Ichiro Honda (Per Game Basis) confirmed

18 - Shin Watanabe (Spare) confirmed
? - Brian Yip (Spare) confirmed
5 - Stewart Hope (Spare) confirmed
15 - Steve Tajiri (Spare) confirmed

Monday, June 22, 2009

The drought is over...

Coilers win !! Coilers win !!

can't blog too much.. I blame Captain Kirk.. too much drinking after vevery game Grrr !!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Let's forget about game #8....

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Hired Gun (ringer) in game #7

According to the league's score sheet, #40 of the Vipers was responsible for scoring 5 of the 8 goals vs Coilers United on Saturday night (plus an assist). This turned out to be the first game he participated in this season. Ahh Boooo !!!

Roses are red... Violets are blue... HOLY, we got messed up !

- RICHMOND, B.C. - Coil Sports Network -
Last place Vipers handed Coilers United their first big blow out loss this season on Saturday night with a score of 8-2. Coilers United were outplayed through out most of the competition. Coming off a strong shut out performance just 24 hours prior, Nötle the goalie gave up 8 goals in this breakaway clinic put on by the Vipers. A trade has been mentioned during the post game interview, but turns out, a 5'4" goalie isn't a hot commodity in ANY level of hockey. Let's hope the growth hormone will kick in sometime soon.
Goals for the Coilers were scored by Bryan Sonnenberg and Randy Morphy, both breakaway goals during the first period.

Next game will be on Saturday night 9:45 vs Yee Insurance Lightning
This is looking to be the most difficult game in Coilers' regular season schedule this year. The Vipers was beaten by Yee Insurance Lightning 6-2 just before handing the 8-2 win over the Coilers on Saturday.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Off Topic : Weather channel interviews Captain Lu

Yup, this Vancouver weather news reporter just randomly picked people on the streets and found this Borat looking guido and interviewed him.... she has no idea who he is.... no name credited or anything....

Majer Hockey Sale

Majer Hockey Sale on Tomorrow till Saturday.... call them for orders since they are in Ontario....

check out the deals here

Remember, different Time Zone, their 8 pm is our 5 pm

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

1/3 Season in stats breakdown

Wow, spring league seems really short.... I can't believe we are 1/3 done already ! Since Coast Hockey League really sucks in updating the stats, I am going to do it here for everyone.
So, after 4 games.... (goals, assists, points)

Neudorf - 19
3 - 3 - 6
Pettipas - 13
0 - 5 - 5
Morphy - 7
3 - 1 - 4
Richard - 16
2 - 1 - 3
Sonnenberg - 9
1 - 2 - 3
Chang (Calvin) - 2
2 - 0 - 2
Manchester - 41
2 - 0 - 2
Yeung - 20
1 - 1 - 2
Beaver - 17
0 - 1 - 1
Cheng (Bernard) - 44
0 - 1 - 1
Elfström - 71
0 - 1 - 1
Hope - 5
0 - 1 - 1
Karan - 91
0 - 1 - 1
Le - 46
0 - 1 - 1
Elton - 60
3W- 1L - 1SO - 1.75GAA

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Coast Hockey League Tiering Disaster Exhibit A & B

Please take a look at these 2 links

EXHIBIT A - when a Hockey score that looked more like a CFL score

EXHIBIT B - 2 touch downs plus a field goal

Ferrets Shilacking 101 : Short-Handed Clinic

- RICHMOND, B.C. - Coil Sports Network -
On the very same night that we saw the Canucks exiting the NHL Playoffs, Coilers United had bounced back from their game 2 lost with a vengeance.... plus some more... when they faced the 0-1 Mad Ferrets.
The Coilers got on the score sheet first just 88 seconds into the game as rookie defenseman #20 Ray "YarYar" Yeung took a seemingly harmless shot from the right point that found it's way barely passing the goal line.
C.U.H.C. took control during most of the second period as #19 Mike Neudorf put in the game's second goal with #13 Pettipas and #44 Bernard Cheng providing the assists.
With the confidence of a 2 goals lead, Coilers United had put on a Short Handed clinic on the 3rd period. #7 Randy Morphy and #19 Neudorf (2nd goal of the game) scored in highlight reel short handed goals. Assists to Neudorf's second goal again went to Kirk Pettipas and #71 Mike Elfström. The Mad Ferrets had a handful of quality chances in the second half of the 3rd period but were not able to beat the Coilers goaltender.
#9 Bryan Sonnenberg sealed the deal with a beautiful breakaway goal assisted by Randy to end the game with the convincing score of 5-0.
The game got semi ugly during the last 5 minutes of the competition. The goons came out to play as #2 Calvin Chang, #44 Bernard Chang and #91 Kevin Karan provided some extra curricular post whistle activities to add some much needed toughness for this young and what some might call "gentle" so far season.
Final shots count : 18 by Coilers United, 15 by Mad Ferrets.
During the post game interview, #60 Nötle the goalie thanked all his defensemen and back checkers for their efforts in achieving this shut out. He then continued on the next 27 minutes to thank his parents... the academy.... and all the fans that believed in him from day one.... god.... the general manager..... Richard Simons..... Oprah..... Jerrod from Subway..... ......

Monday, May 11, 2009

We Want Our Stats !

so... nobody at Coast Hockey League seems to feel like updating our game stats online... we are the only team that doesn't have games and points stats.... ROARRRRRR !!! Damn you League !!!

Coilers gives up late goal, suffers first defeat

- RICHMOND, B.C. - Coil Sports Network -
Coilers United suffered their first lost 4 days after their first franchise win on Sunday evening versus the Red Devils. Coilers went on the score board first when #16 Cordell Richard put the puck in the net during a delayed penalty call vs their opponent in the first period. Rookie defenseman #46 Hung Le picked up his first point with the only assist to the goal.
Second period was held scoreless for both sides.
Red Devils managed 2 goals in the 3rd period including a game decisive sharp angle shot that found the back of the net past a screen and right over the Coiler goalie's right shoulder.
United will be facing the 0 - 1 Mad Ferrets within 24 hours of this game on Monday night.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Coilers United Celebrates First Franchaise Win

- RICHMOND, B.C. - Coil Sports Network -
The Coilers United Hockey Club picked up their first-ever win in franchise history on Wednesday night in their season opener, topping the Toasters 3-1. The first goal in C.U.H.C. history was scored 14:18 in the first period by #7 Randy Morphy from a beautiful behind the net set up from #17 Troy "Leave it to him" Beaver with the 2nd assist coming from #91 Kevin Karan. #16 Cordell Richard and #19 Mike Neudorf have also scored for the Coilers with single assists going to #5 Hope, #20 Yeung, #9 Sonnenburg & #13 Pettipas.
In Goal, #60 Elton Kwan was able to steer away all the shots except for one that sneaked by him under his blocker arm in the middle of second period.
The Japanese Rocket #18 Shin Watanabe decided to run his mouth to the ref after a questionable icing non-call and received a unsportsmanlike penalty in the later stage of the 3rd period. Mike Neudorf decided he was not to be out done by Shin and proceeded to punch the opposition's goalie in the throat. Luckily, he missed by 6 inches and the furious right hook landed squarely on the goalie's head which resulted in a roughing penalty and a line-up free early game-ejection shower.
All in all, it was a convincing win for the Coilers with them having control of the puck 70% of the time.
Final shots count was 13 - 9 for the Coilers.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Coilers United Unveils New Team Jerseys

- RICHMOND, B.C. - Coil Sports Network -
Coilers United Hockey Club's general manager Mr SNAFU Liam Rather today unveiled new home jerseys that will be worn at the upcoming Coast Spring League 2009 season in Richmond Ice Centre.
"We are excited to unveil the new look for Team Coilers United as we prepare for some great hockey games in our expansion year (which will start in 2 days)", says GM Mr Rather.
Unfortunately, Mr Rather couldn't stay too long for further Q&A session with the press as it was time for his walk.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

CBC PlayOn 4 on 4 Canadian Street Hockey Tournament

ROARRRRR !!!! We have a game on the 14th at 7:00 pm !!!
And Vancouver dates are 13th and 14th..

This looks fun though... check it out
CBC PlayOn 4 on 4 Official Canadian Street Hockey Tournament Website

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Coilers United Spring Regular Season Schedule

The 2009 schedule has finally been released. (crowd cheers)
Just 14 more sleeps before The Coilers hit the ice !

Official Schedule page here

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Canucks sweep the Blues!

Bring on the Hawks !!! Yes sorry Calgary fans... No chance Bertuzzi..
[elton] 1 604 338 2306
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Friday, April 17, 2009

1st Quarter CUHC Financial Report: Crazy GM spending during this grim economy

League Registration Fee
$ 4,200.00

Custom Jerseys (20 pcs)
$ 1,545.60

12 Water Bottles + 2 Carriers
$ 67.80

12 Pucks
$ 16.95

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

It's Official.... Div 5 (or 4), here we come !

The Coilers United Hockey Club has been seeded in the Coast Spring Hockey League system. We will be 1 of 42 (projected number) teams in the spring league.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Official Coast Hockey League "Official Rules"

For the ones that are not familiar with the Coast Hockey League rules...

Official League Rule Book (PDF format - 194 KB)

Offseason goaltending update

A spy photo has been seen circulating on the internet of the Coilers United off season goaltending camp snapped from their home rink "The Loo".
Although the evidents such as this photo are not very encouraging at this point, sources told us that their starter (player #60) has been and will continue working extra hard in growing taller to cover more net.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Spring League Waiver Form & Drivers License

Coilers, please print and fill out this waiver form and have it ready for me when I collect the league fees from you. A player (Full timers or Subs) will not be able to participate unless this signed waiver form is submitted to the league.

Also, I would need a color photocopy or scanned version of your drivers license for the league.
If you choose to scan it, please scan them in Full Color, 100% original size at 150 dpi.

download your waiver form on the link below
Coast Hockey League - Spring League Waiver Form (2 pages PDF)

Thank you for your attention.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Final Coilers United Team Roster & assigned numbers (90% final)

17 Troy BEAVER (XL) •
2 Calvin CHANG (L) •
44 Bernard CHENG (L) •
3 Geoffrey GATES (XL) - "EL JEFE"
5 Stewart HOPE (XL) •
77 Aaron HUI (L) •
91 Kevin KARAN (L)
82 Dave KERAS (L) - sub
60 Elton KWAN (XL) • - "NÖTLE"
46 Hung LE (XL) •
41 Jason MANCHESTER (XL) •
7 Randy MORPHY (XL) • - "MEXICO"
19 Mike NEUDORF (XL) •
13 Kirk PETTIPAS (XL) •
16 Cordell RICHARD (L)
15 Steve TAJIRI (L) - sub
18 Shin WATANABE (XL) • - "WATASHIN" - sub
20 Ray YEUNG (XL) • - "YARYAR"
38 Ernest CHAN (XL) -"CHANCHEZ" - sub

75 Andre RIOUX (XL) [JERSEY ONLY, non player]

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Uniteds' Free Agents speculation

Breaking News
Reliable sources has reported that the talent scouts have been working overtime and communications has been made between the Coilers United Hockey Club™ and a few players in the Vancouver free agents market. Exact number of players has not been confirmed, but it is believed to be between 3 to 6.
It has previously been reported that the cap for total full time skaters will be set at 15. If the sources are true, official contract signings will take place over the weekend and the final rosters for the team should be posted in the middle of next week. Stay tuned....

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Offseason Players Signings

The Coilers United Hockey Club's GM Mr Liam S. Rather announced the following players have been drafted for the expansion team. Although only 9 full time one way contract player has been officially signed to this day, sources say talks with the prospects' agents look promising.

(F) Bryan Sonnenberg [signed]
(D) Calvin Chang [signed]
(G) Elton Kwan [signed]
(F) Stewart Hope [signed]
(F) Aaron Hui [signed]
(F) Shin (Watashin) Watanabe [signed] - on a loan contract for half season
(F) Troy Beaver [signed]
(D) Steve Tajiri [signed] - on a loan contract for the season
(F) Ray Yeung (rookie) [signed]
(D) Hung Le (rookie) [signed]
(F) Cordell Richard [signed]
(D) Brian Yip [signed] - on a loan contract for half season
(D) Mike Schwengers [signed] - on a loan contract for half season
(D) Dave Keras [in the middle of contract negotiation with his woman]
(F) Jeremy Hope [farm team two ways contract reserve player]
(D) Chris Hope [farm team two ways contract reserve player]
(D) Mike Elfstrom [Sundining around]
(?) Randy Morphy [drafted by oversea scout - unknown status]
(F - G) Colin Charron [on ice conditioning as a skater]

Stay tuned for further updates on the CUHC signings

New Coils on the Block


The Coilers United Hockey Club has called a media conference for Wednesday where it's expected they will announce that the club has been selected for one of the much anticipated expansion franchise scheduled to being play in April 2009 in the Coast Hockey Spring League.

(Spy Shots) Official Team Logos

According to a reliable source, the official Coilers United Hockey Club logos has been leaked onto the internet.
A. Front Jersey Main Crest
B. Secondary Mascot Icon
C. Right Shoulder Patch